top of page


When I work with individuals or groups I see that a lot can be achieved. The moment we open our hearts to growth, recovery and new movements, we encounter ourselves. We long for new hope, peace, energy. But in the sincere path to this point we encounter layers of sadness and fear within ourselves. It is often a challenge to move through this. Our natural tendency is to want to move away from this fear and sadness. That's not surprising.

Yet the path of healing and recovery goes straight through the pain. I believe that it is very important as a supervisor to create a foundation for safety. Of closeness. This closeness is about staying there. When I say through the pain this is never about forcing it. This is about coordination. Stay at the point where the other person is now.

Closeness is healing This staying with it is one of the greatest challenges from person to person. The intense sadness or fear of the other stirs within us, does not leave us unmoved, makes us restless, we want to leave. Can I really stay close? Can I stay with the other person's sadness and pain? This closeness is in itself healing.

Stay present in the suffering It reminds me of Jesus' deep question to his friends. We read that he began to be sad and very anxious, in view of the suffering to come. He says to his friends: My soul is exceedingly grieved, even unto death; stay here and watch with Me. Later he finds his friends sleeping. It was too hard for his friends to stay with Jesus, they couldn't stay with him. How lonely the suffering is then. As a coach, trainer, friend, mother, lover, neighbor, I challenge myself to stay close to others. Thanks to Jesus I find solid ground (within myself) and the strength I need. He conquered the power of death. Death (as the ultimate sum of all fears) loses its stimulus. Jesus promises to never leave me. I experience being held in my deepest fear and sadness and finding the courage to move through it. This is how I find new life.

Stay with me, remain here with me watch and pray, watch and pray. (Taize)


bottom of page